MARCH 2009

 Mwow, everyone.

 My two-legs have been away for a while, and Diananextdoor looked after me. I like Diananextdoor. Her real job is as Miss Bella’s servant, but Bella gave her permission to put in some extra hours giving me food and games and cuddles. I call that very gracious. Of course I could have gone to Barcelona too, but to be honest I’m not very keen on travelling. No, I’ll rephrase that: I HATE travelling! If I have to go to the v** (sorry, can’t bring myself to say that word!), then as soon as I’m put in the carrying basket I just YOWL, and I don’t stop until I’m back home again! Well, do you blame me? I mean, it’s not dignified, is it? It wouldn’t be so bad if the travelling conditions were better-a basket the size of the two-legs’ bed, say, with velvet cushions and a lovely dish of raw steak to distract me.

            Since my two-legs returned, they’ve been working nearly all the daylight hours in the garden. I must say it needed it; everything was getting very overgrown. But they do make it unnecessarily complicated. They ought to let someone sensible, like me, redesign the whole thing. Then they could have catnip trees, a catnip hedge, catnip beds, topiary catnip, bonsai catnip … it would make their lives so much simpler! And I was particularly annoyed when that lovely pile of old leaves and grass mowings was “cleared up” (as they call it) and taken away. I used to like sleeping on that!

            Actually, though, I have got a new and special cat seat. Louise bought it for me, and put it on her desk beside the screen thing with the moving pictures on it (she works the pictures herself, with something she calls a Mouse, though it certainly isn’t like any mouse I’ve seen. I mean, it doesn’t even squeak when I pounce on it!). Where was I? Oh, yes: my new seat. I didn’t know what it was at first. It’s a sort of silvery-grey colour, very square, with compartments that open, and when Louise fiddles with it, it makes whirring noises. So I sat on it-purely in the interests of research, of course-and as soon as I discovered that it was just the right size and shape for me to curl up on, I understood. The compartments are obviously for storing food and toys, while the whirring noises are electronic purrs to make me feel at home. And when it gets warm as well as whirring-what luxury! I think it’s a very clever design.

            I thanked Louise with my very best purrs and nose-rubs. She said something that I didn’t quite understand (human languages are very garbled compared with Cat!) but it sounded like, ‘Look, I know you like sitting on it, but it’s my new printer and I want to USE it sometime…’

Anyway, she’s put my favourite blue blanket on top of it, so I think, roughly translated, her words meant ‘My pleasure’ !

For all my fans, here’s a picture of me on My New Seat. Arty, or wot???

Prrrrewew till next time,

SIMBA

Filed under: Simba's Blat by Louise